Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
