i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
