she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
