lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
