when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
