it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
