I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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