she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
