Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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