Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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