Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
