so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
