sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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