Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Four minutes until I can fart!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize