He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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