Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
