garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
