I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
