did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize