As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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