I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
