Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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