Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
