That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
