matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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