One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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