well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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