i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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