No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Randomize
