Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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