he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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