Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
