Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
