She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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