Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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