I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
