Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
