Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
