look no pants
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
