my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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