32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
