You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
