what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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