is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
