come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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