I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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