Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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