There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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