She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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