I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
