If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
