Dual....:-)
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
