the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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