did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
