i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize