Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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