My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
