meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
