no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
