How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
