I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
