Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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