it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize