Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
