shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
