I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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