if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
