WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
